Defying the Polar Vortex gods

According to the National Weather Service, today is the last day in our area that we have to deal with the air mass they're calling “the Polar Vortex.” During the last five days a cold as bitter as Antarctica has descended on the Midwest forcing schools to close and people to crawl deeper into their dens and stay there. Or, if they cannot, put on layers and layers of clothing as they venture out into the arctic air. In conditions like these, frostbite can occur in minutes and exposure can cause death. It's the perfect setting for an epic lay, say, about a man battling the frost gods, like something out of Tolkien's Second Age.

To my parents' chagrin (if they knew about it) and my wife's amusement (she's long since stopped asking, “Why?”), I chose to run through these sub-zero days if only to defy the furies behind this polar cyclone with its hoary blast. I haven't been totally stupid. I've modified my regular routine to meet the conditions, run in the early afternoon when the sun is at its zenith and gone for short distances limiting my time outside to less than 30 minutes. But when my run is complete and I come in from the cold there is something akin to victory that swells in my heart. I braved the elements. I defied the polar vortex gods. I headed into the wind and was careful not to spit into it.

A friend of mine on Facebook yesterday posted this to my wall:

“Thought i saw Pastor Martin and son Edward running by my house this afternoon! Am i going crazy? Its 20 below!”

Well, it may have been 20 below but on the bright side it's 150 below on Mars. No, I refuse to yield and huddle by a heat vent in our home. Polar vortex or no, there be giants to defy and overcome – gigantic slugs of laziness and gargantuan titans of malaise. What's more, when I'm not active all the calories I ingest go right to my waist. Like Gandalf before the balrog on the Bridge of Khazadum, I run into the maw of the Polar Vortex denying it to gloat over this slow-moving object and in my mind at least shouting, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”

Like that but with less fire

Hope I don't slow her down too much

Tomorrow I'll drive downstate to attend the Wisconsin Cross Country Coaches Association annual clinic which means I'll have my annual running-date with my niece, Hannah, tomorrow afternoon. It's supposed to be in the mid-20s (as in above). I'm wondering right now if I should even bother packing my wind breaker. Compared to my run on Monday, it'll be at least 40 degrees warmer. It should be a piece of cake to this cold weather warrior.